At a Halloween celebration October that is last Gomez-Barris, dressed as a flamenco dancer, put out a full bowl of her homemade guacamole and examined regarding the boiling pot of fresh corn into the home. She’d recently separated from her spouse of 12 years, while the buddies streaming in now were desperate to fulfill her new love, whom, about this night, ended up being the pirate within the three-cornered cap carving pumpkins outside. After her wedding separated in, handful of those that knew Gomez-Barris had thought she’d be single for long—”a catch,” they called her—and these were appropriate.
An animated 38-year-old, Gomez-Barris did actually get it all—a brilliant career
The problem started when they relocated to Los Angeles, where their child was created and Gomez-Barris’s educational job became popular during the University of Southern Ca. Leni invested their times caring for the home and kiddies. “I became into the more effective part,” says Gomez-Barris, a PhD as well as a assistant professor when you look at the sociology and US studies and ethnicity divisions. “I made additional money and was struggling to balance might work and house life.”
“Immersed,” is how Leni sets it. “She lived and breathed USC. All her friends had been professors, and finally I was obsolete. I am absolutely nothing the device considers I should really be as a man that is traditional. I am perhaps not committed. I actually don’t care that much about money. I became raised among torture survivors https://datingranking.net/blackchristianpeoplemeet-review/, and also the most critical values had been within the realm that is emotional of experience, to soothe and help.”
His noble ideals unfortunately clashed with day-to-day realities.
Solitary once again at 36, Gomez-Barris dated a men that are few none really. “these were not too clear on on their own inside their professions or economically,” she says. “It had been a period of genuine research and independence that is personal and I also became extremely logical concerning the type of partner we desired and required”—someone, she hoped, that would match her intellectual aspirations but additionally look after her kiddies.